Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
