We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
