I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
