I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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