I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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