yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize