Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize