You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
