I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
