do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
