i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
