let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
