remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
