The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
