What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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