If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Still dying that you shit outside
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
