My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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