What a fucking waste of an outfit
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
