I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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