It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
