You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
