Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
