I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
