I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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