There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
