it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
