I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
