If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
