I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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