giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
