my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
