he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We left the knife in your bed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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