you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
