exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just sent this text using only my big toe
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
