Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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