Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
