Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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