yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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