I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
