i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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