she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
