she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
