you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
