You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
