her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
