i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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