She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
