You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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