I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Don't make out with my wife yet
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
