Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
