we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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