once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
