belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
