Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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