Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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