Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
